I am a mature adult who has loved God my whole life. I know about His greatness and His love for me, yet I continue to be in awe of His plans for me. One more time He shows me to “Let Go and Let God”.
I have been through all “the firsts” without my dear, loving husband. I thought things would get easier, but in fact, this Christmas season has been rough for me. It’s been even harder this year than last year. I think maybe it was because it was so new last year. I was still in the early stages of my grief. I didn’t know how to feel. My daughter was also getting married soon after Christmas so I was preoccupied with all that being a mother of the bride entails. I have felt the emptiness in my heart this season and the longing to wrap my arms around him one more time and tell him how much I love him. I know his presence is around me and for that I am grateful, but it just isn’t the same. So I have had my pity party on more than one occasion lately, concentrating on what I missed in my life. No one else was invited. It was a private party.
Monday morning I received an email from my editor telling me she finished reading the manuscript I submitted back in September. She loved it. In fact she said I owed her a box of Kleenex. She is going to be sending me a contract on it very soon. I checked my email daily since early October, hoping to hear word from her. Nothing came. Instead, during the week of Christmas, when I needed something to cheer me up, the email arrived. Once again, God knew exactly the time I needed to receive this. It has added joy to my heart because this book is very special to me. This is also the last manuscript Randy knew I was working on. He cried also when I read him parts of it. I know he would be doing the “happy dance” with me in celebration. In fact, maybe he is.
So my Christmas will be a little brighter than I anticipated this year. Although it will still be tough to go on, at least I know the book Randy wanted to see get published so badly is going to happen. I feel like it’s a Christmas gift to both of us.