Wish I Could Share These Moments With You

Hi Ran,

I just got a copy of my cover design for my “Prissy Book” as we always called it. I really like it and I know you would have to. I wish you were still here to share in all this. I know spiritually you are,  but I wish you were here physically to share it all with me. I miss your hugs and your smiles so much.

I was just thinking about how awesome it would have been to babysit our first grandchild together. You wanted to have grandchildren so much. It’s something we will never get to experience together, but I will do it for both of us. And our grandchild(ren) will know all about Papa Randy.

I told Fr. Andy how lost I am without you and how unsure I am of who I am supposed to be now. He  told me through my tears that it’s true when the Bible says “the two shall become one flesh”. He said in a marriage as strong as ours, we did become one and it’s natural to feel lost, even this long after.

I know you are proud of me. I am trying to move on. I am trying to be strong and be the head of the family now. A new generation will soon be entering our family. I don’t know what God has in store for me and my future. I do know that he has put a desire in my heart to write for children and maybe even adults. I have to follow this personal ministry.

This probably seems like rambling .It’s sort of the way I feel today.

Love you forever,


photo from google images


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. spirit2go
    Jul 18, 2010 @ 16:16:44

    beautiful Spirit;
    I understand exactly your pain and the empty hole in your chest where your heart used to be. I am a sister to you in this terrible reality. I have to remain hopeful that, one day at a time, we will eventually be able to fully smile again (and mean it!)

    It is said! It is good!


    • pclement
      Jul 18, 2010 @ 17:19:39

      spirit2go, Thank-you for reading my blog post. I went to yours and see that we share some things in common. We both lost our husbands the same way, both from the south, and both enjoy writing.


  2. Laurie Kolp
    Jul 18, 2010 @ 17:00:16

    This one made me cry. Randy IS with you and he is very proud, too. Look for the signs.

    I can’t wait to see your book…cover and all. Maybe we can get together for lunch soon.


  3. Mona Hernandez
    Jul 18, 2010 @ 18:20:03

    You aren’t rambling at all…you were speaking from the heart…its who you are. I know that Randy is so proud of you….don’t ever give up.


  4. Lacey
    Jul 19, 2010 @ 08:36:42

    I know Daddy is telling everyone up there how proud he is of you and how amazing you are, as a writer, a wife, a mother, and a child of God. I wish he could be here too to share this with you. I only pray that I have the marriage one day that you two had. I LOVE YOU!!!

    By the way, that excerpt from Kubler-Ross’ ‘On Death and Dying’…that’s the book that I’ve been wanting and got free from work! 🙂


  5. J. Robert Hanson
    Jul 29, 2010 @ 17:12:06

    You’re killing me!! This is very moving and touching—you are truly blessed.


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