Letter to Randy

Hi Ran,

I sit here with a heavy heart. My thoughts today  have been constantly about you. My emotions change with each memory. Some make me smile, yet others make me weep. Thirty-one years ago today I became your wife.  I’ve thought about  how we didn’t  exactly have a traditional  dating relationship. We were each other ‘s best friend before that very first date.. We didn’t need time to get to know each other. We laughed numerous times wondering  how we ended up married since neither one of us remember becoming officially engaged after six ‘long’ weeks of dating. It was just something that seemed right. It was certainly not romantic, but right.

They were fun years. Even the rainstorms of life were tolerable because we went through them together. And we went through them with a sense of humor. We both felt that if we couldn’t change our situation we might as well laugh about it. We always did. And we always came out better for it when the  rainstorm ended and  sunshine  brightened our days again. We became stronger for having endured the situation we were given.

You were an absolutely fantastic husband. You were so kind and loving. You taught me how to stay calm when things angered me. That was not easy to learn at first. Sometimes I just wanted a good, old-fashioned argument with you, but it would have had to be one-sided because you didn’t believe in raising your voice or getting angry.   You believed in talking things out rationally. When I came around to seeing things your way I knew you were right. So in thirty-one years, I could probably count on one hand the times when we did argue.

You were so funny. I think I miss that the most about you. You could make me laugh about anything. We found ourselves in some pretty funny scenarios over the years. I remember things like  going  to the funeral home for a visitation and realizing when we got the casket that it was the wrong funeral home. We didn’t quite know how to leave gracefully. We laughed so hard in the parking lot on the way out that both of us were crying. People coming in thought we were crying because we were grieving. Remember the  time I was trying to get out of the Dallas airport and we ended up right next to the runway? It was definitely not  a place we should have been. You laughed so hard on our honeymoon when the donkey took after me because he thought my camera bag was food. Or when you offered to drive the bus for my second graders’ class trip only to find out when we were ready to leave that you had no idea how to even start the bus. You managed somehow but the city had a few less signs standing that day.

You tried your best to be romantic. Sometimes you succeeded. I remember you picking me up from school some afternoons with a picnic lunch.  We would go the park, sit on a blanket, eat a late lunch, and talk about our day.  You would serve breakfast in bed many Sunday mornings, or call me on the phone asking me for a date.  Sometimes you meant well but it just didn’t work out as planned. I remember the Mother’s Day picnic, our vacation spot to Arkansas, or the cards you bought me for special occasions . The cards were beautiful but the messages you wrote in them were misspelled so badly that sometimes it changed the meaning behind it. It would make me laugh  and you would smile and say,Why are you laughing? I didn’t write anything funny. I was being romantic.” When I would read it the way you wrote it we would just crack up.

I could go on and on about your hysterical ‘episodes’. But it would take a book to cover them more than a blog post. Honestly, I have already started putting information together and am going to write a book about your most memorable adventures. I want your grandchildren and beyond to know all about you.

Tonight we would have gone out to dinner and celebrated. You would have  sent me  sweet emails at work (and I would have laughed at all the misspellings). But I would have thought,’ What a dear, sweet man  I married!”  This year is quite different. Instead, I went to the cemetery and put a red rose on your grave. Instead of laughing at your emails, I  shed tears in seeing your headstone inscription. But the same  thought enters my mind. “What a dear, sweet  man I married!”

Happy Anniversary, Ran. I love you with every breath of my being.



8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lacey
    May 26, 2010 @ 16:27:08

    I only hope and pray that I can find a husband as incredibly wonderful as Daddy and have the type of marriage you two had! You both were incredible role models to me in every way. Mom, you still guide me and set an amazing example for me of what it means to be a loving and strong woman. You both taught me so much about how to live life and how to love others. You are an incredible woman and mom! You’re my best friend, and I love you so much!!!


  2. Fr. Andy Moore
    May 26, 2010 @ 16:28:58

    Oh man… I was laughing so hard at the funeral home story. That’s a big fear of mine– going to start a wake service or a rosary only to find out it’s the wrong service! I hope you do write that book- it will be great for your grandkids, but also for anyone who wants to see how marriage can really work– solve whatever problems you’re able to and learn to laugh at the rest!!


  3. Karen Gros
    May 26, 2010 @ 16:44:58

    Peggy what a warm, wonderful tribute to what seemed to be a very special man. I both cried and laughed reading this as I am sure Randy did as you wrote it. God Bless you.




  4. Laurie Kolp
    May 26, 2010 @ 18:04:14

    Oh, Peggy… what a nice letter to Randy. I hope writing that helped you in some way. It helped me- I am going to give Pete a big hug. Love you! ~Laurie


  5. lana
    May 27, 2010 @ 08:46:45

    I should not have read this at work. My heart still hurts so much. I miss him terribly, but Mother and I were saying just a few weeks ago that it is so strange but it feels like he is still here. Sometimes I have to really make it sink in that he is actually gone. I have come to realize that I think it is because he had such a strong presence in our family that none of us wants to actually admit that he is not here anymore. I am so glad you are writing all of these stories down. It makes it feel like you are keeping him here with us, and I love that. Sometimes when I start to think about Ran, I remember some of the funny stuff he told me over the years,(only things that could have happened to him, of course), and I laugh just as hard as when he told it to me himself. He was a hysterically funny man!! I know that Randy is the one guiding your hand and filling your mind and heart with the words to write, because now that he is in heaven, I’m certain his spelling has improved!!
    Love you, Sis


  6. pprmint777
    Jun 04, 2010 @ 17:19:44

    What a wonderful post! I didn’t even know him, but I laughed and cried right along with you. God blessed you with a wonderful man for so many years. I’m sure you miss him.

    God bless you with his comfort.



  7. Linda G.
    Jun 07, 2010 @ 18:54:35

    Peggy , that was a wonderful summary of your memories of the last 31 years .Its always a joy to read your blog cause it ‘s written with such feeling .By the time i finish reading it ,i have a feeling of happiness ,because yall seemed so perfect for each other .God gave you an angel and you took such good care of him ,he has rewarded you loving memories of Randy and your beautiful daughters,,will love yall always Linda G. ,


  8. Trackback: 2010 in review « The Work of His Hands

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: