Where’s The Anger?

I have read several articles and books, and have heard people speak on the subject of grief since losing Randy almost six months ago. They all talk about grief coming in stages. One of those stages being talked about is anger. But I have to wonder.  With whom should I  be angry? I certainly can’t be angry with Randy. I know he would be here if he could. It wasn’t his choice to leave us. And I can’t be angry with God. He saved Randy from continued pain and possibly amputation and blindness. God showed a great deal of mercy on him. So I wonder why anger is such a common thread in the grief process. Am I missing something? Am I going to suddenly wake up one day and be consumed with this new phase of the grief process? I sure hope not. I have or am experiencing some of the other phases however.  They are very real.  But I am not angry. I hope it’s the one phase I can continue to not experience.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Laurie Kolp
    Feb 16, 2010 @ 08:19:40

    I know your faith will keep you strong, Peggy, but if you do become angry just remember it’s only temporary and part of the process. If you ever need an ear, I’m a pretty good listener. =)

    ~laurie

    Reply

  2. Lacey
    Feb 16, 2010 @ 08:46:35

    I know exactly what you mean. I’ve thought about that a million times… “Who would I be angry with??” I know it’s all happened in God’s perfect timing and in God’s perfect way. But, if I have any anger, it would be with myself for all the missed opportunities, all the things I never told him. But, I know it all happened in God’s way. I’ve grown so much and I’ve learned so much about life and about myself through the last six months. I know why God gave me these regrets- for me to learn and grow from them. I always wonder if, and when, the anger will hit. I pray it never does because honestly, there’s nobody to be angry with. Daddy’s so happy now. I would never wish him back here. I only wait for the day when I join him up there. I love you, mama!!!

    Reply

  3. Peggy Meredith
    Feb 16, 2010 @ 16:54:38

    I know where you are coming from. I have experienced all the phases now, I think…. Some of them come back a second time. My anger was at the situation and some to God for taking Gene so young and angry at CANCER!! Anger that Gene and I did not get to spend any retirement time together.

    I would love to get together with you some times. Please call me when you are up to it.

    Love,
    Peggy

    Reply

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